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Austin powers quotes

austin powers quotes

austin powers movie quotes | Yeah baby, yeah!!! – Austin Powers «Quotes Pics. austin powers movie quotes | Yeah baby, yeah!!! – Austin Powers «Quotes Pics. Best Austin Powers quote Lachen, Austin Powers Zitate, Lustige Meme. Discover ideas about Austin Powers Quotes. Austin powers celebrates its anniversary. its only fair I share this pick-me-up quote I've been playing in ma head.

Do you know how we keep warm in Russia? I can guess, baby. You have to kill me. Kiss my ass, Powers! Why did you tell us?

I can't stand to be asked the same question three times. It just irritates me. Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.

You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell you. He's hiding in his secret volcano lair. Evil's secret volcano lair? Do I really have to ask you two more times?

Go to hell, Powers. I will take it to the grave with me! You have to answer. He asked you three times. The second question was 'Do I really have to ask you two more times?

So that would be the first question in a new line of questioning, and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning. Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets?

We could make trillions. Why make a trillion when we could make A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts.

If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something? How about, no, Scott?

I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot all along.

Wait a tick, that means I'm single again! You know what's remarkable? Is how much England looks in no way like Southern California. Did we get Dr.

No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or Any of your kids want another wiener?

I don't know, son, but it has great big That looks just like my husband's Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!

It looks like a Could I have your autograph? Look at that thing! No, I've seen bigger. Just a little prick. Austin Powers, I presume. Powers by name, powers by reputation.

Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation. Not if I can help it. I was just doing my job. No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.

What did you call me? Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore. Talk to your hand? You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips.

What are you talking about? Don't go there, girlfriend. Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown.

I've heard that somewhere. Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis, Dr.

After foiling his archenemy's plan to send a nuclear warhead to the center of the earth, Austin banished Dr.

Evil to the cold recesses of space and settled down with his new wife, Vanessa, to live happily ever after. Or so he thought.

Well, looks like you have a choice, Mr. Save the world, or save your girlfriend. Don't worry about me, Austin! You've got to save the world! I'm you ten minutes from now.

You are handsome, baby, yeah! We are sexy bitches, yes! Alright, this is re-goddamn-diculous. Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?

You can start by buying me a drink. How does that feel, baby? You shut your mouth, you bastard,. You shot me, you A-Hole. Basil, if I travel back to and I was frozen in , presumeably, I could go back and visit my frozen self.

But, if I'm still frozen in , how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to. Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.

I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. That goes for you all, too. This coffee smells like shit! It is shit, Austin.

Then it's not just me. Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father.

Scott, you had your chance, okay? I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.

Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets. Mini Me, stop humping the "laser".

Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes? Who are you, baby? Well, I "vana" toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now is it?

I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s. The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me.

I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably move on, get another replica, but there would be a 10 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: I can't back that up. Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do.

I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead.

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive.

It's a long road ahead. Let me make you a deal. You get the mojo, and you can keep your money. And I'll get your bay-bay.

I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. Mini-Me, no, we don't gnaw on our kitty.

Just love him, stroke him. Jiminy Jumpin' Jesus, I can't believe we're gonna pay that madman. I got nukes out the ying-yang. Just let me launch one, for God's sake.

Are you suggesting that we blow up the moon? Would you miss it? Austin Powers, I've heard a lot about you. I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

Well, of course you haven't had the pleasure, Rebecca. We just met, baby, yeah. An evil doctor shouldn't speak aloud about his feelings, my hurt and my pain don't make me too appealing.

I'd hoped Scott would look up to me, run the business of the family, head an evil empire just like his dear old dad, give him my love and the things I never had.

Scott would think I was a cool guy, return the love I have, make me want to cry, be evil, but have my feelings too, change my life with Oprah and Maya Angelou.

But Scott rejected me, c'est la vie, life is cruel, treats you unfairly, even so, a God there must be, Mini Me, you complete me.

Do you smoke after sex? I don't know, baby, I never looked. Could someone put a fricken bell on him or something? I thought I was a test tube baby.

Thank you, yes, thank you. That sort of thing could get a man fired. I think he was hot for you.

That makes me angry. Evil gets angry, Mr. Not the time to lose one's head. That's not the way to get ahead in life. It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.

He'll never be the head of a major corporation. She's the village bicycle! Everyone's had a ride. All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.

Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away! No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan.

Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? Who does Number Two work for? You show that turd who's boss. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.

But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.

What's your point, Vanessa? What did you eat? Evil, do you really expect them to pay? I expect them to die. Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?

How do you like to do it? Do you like to wash up first? You know, top and tails Personally, before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a 'how's your father'!

Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much. I thought she was a man. You're talking about my Mother!

Well, you have to admit, she is rather man-ish. Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell! No, this is me in a nutshell. I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell?

Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? Do I make you horny? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?

I like to see girls of that By "caliber," of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters Remember when we froze your semen?

You said that if it didn't look like you were coming back we should try to create an heir so a part of you would live forever?

Well, after a couple of years we got a little Dr Evil, I would like you to meet your son. Can I have a hug? Give me a hug. What are you doing?

Well, don't look at me like I'm friggin' Frankenstein! Come here and give your father a hug. Get away from me, you lazy-eyed psycho!

I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? You fight like a woman! Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever!

And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off! Finally, we come to my number two man. Wait Vanessa, I can explain.

You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies.

So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.

Allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife, Oprah. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

This is Frau Farbissina, founder and leader of the militant wing of the Salvation Army. Evil is introducing his henchmen ] Patty O'Brien: A superstitious man, he leaves a tiny keepsake on every victim he kills.

Scotland Yard would love to get their hands on that piece of evidence. They're always after me lucky charms. Why does everyone always laugh when I say that?

It's a television commercial. With this cartoon leprechaun, and all of these children are trying to chase him, "Hey, leprechaun, leprechaun man, we want to get your lucky charms.

And there are these little tiny pieces of mashmallow just stuck right in the cereal. So when the kids eat them they think, "Oooh this is candy, I'm having fun!

I demand the sum How dare you break wind before me. I'm sorry I didn't realize it was your turn. Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol.

Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich. Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots? Sake it to me baby! I'm gonna get you Austin Powers! It's frickin' freezing in here, Mr.

There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster. The shouting is a temporary side-effect of the unfreezing. We have some new-comers here today.

Please say hello to Scott and his father Mr Listen, why don't we go in the back and shag? I've been frozen for 30 years.

I've gotta see if my bits and pieces are still working. My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?

I'd appreciate it if you could concentrate on our mission and give your libido a rest Evil has opened a trapdoor, sending Mustafa and several incompetent henchmen falling into a furnace, but Mustafa is still alive.

A gunshot is heard ]. You shot me right in the arm! I think you're shagedelic baby! What exactly do you do, Mr. Now if you'll excuse, I have to go to the little boys' room.

Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um Son, wouldn't you like to see what daddy does for a living?

Over the last thirty years, Virtucon has grown by leaps and bounds. About fifteen years ago, we changed from volatile chemicals to the communication industry.

We own cable companies in thirty-eight states. In addition to our cable holdings, we own a steel mill in Cleveland. Oil refineries in Seattle.

And a factory in Chicago that makes miniature models of factories. Why take the escalator when I have a perfectly good canoe right here?

In Japan, men come first and women come second. Or sometimes not at all. Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. I designed them myself.

I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working. That ain't no woman! It's a man, man! What say, you, we go out on the town and swing, baby?

Au contraire baby, you can't resist me. No, you're right to be suspicious! When this ship comes a' rockin', don't come a' knockin', baby!

It's freedom, baby, yeah! Excuse me, but you didn't happen to see Easily Fooled Security Guard: Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan.

Why make a trillion when we could make A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts. If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?

How about, no, Scott? I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot all along.

Wait a tick, that means I'm single again! You know what's remarkable? Is how much England looks in no way like Southern California. Did we get Dr.

No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or Any of your kids want another wiener?

I don't know, son, but it has great big That looks just like my husband's Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster! It looks like a Could I have your autograph?

Look at that thing! No, I've seen bigger. Just a little prick. Austin Powers, I presume. Powers by name, powers by reputation.

Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation. Not if I can help it. I was just doing my job. No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it?

The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling. What did you call me? Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore.

Talk to your hand? You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips. What are you talking about? Don't go there, girlfriend.

Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown. I've heard that somewhere.

Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis, Dr. After foiling his archenemy's plan to send a nuclear warhead to the center of the earth, Austin banished Dr.

Evil to the cold recesses of space and settled down with his new wife, Vanessa, to live happily ever after. Or so he thought. Well, looks like you have a choice, Mr.

Save the world, or save your girlfriend. Don't worry about me, Austin! You've got to save the world! I'm you ten minutes from now. You are handsome, baby, yeah!

We are sexy bitches, yes! Alright, this is re-goddamn-diculous. Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?

You can start by buying me a drink. How does that feel, baby? You shut your mouth, you bastard,. You shot me, you A-Hole.

Basil, if I travel back to and I was frozen in , presumeably, I could go back and visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in , how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to.

Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed. I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. That goes for you all, too. This coffee smells like shit!

It is shit, Austin. Then it's not just me. Look, I was wondering if we could work all this out? You are, after all, my father. Scott, you had your chance, okay?

I've already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.

Look at him, he's crazy. He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. He'll kill me the first chance he gets. Mini Me, stop humping the "laser".

Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricken room for God's sakes? Who are you, baby? Well, I "vana" toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now is it?

I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s. The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls.

If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably move on, get another replica, but there would be a 10 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: I can't back that up. Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do.

I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. I can't stop eating.

I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive.

It's a long road ahead. They are after me lucky charms! And there are these little tiny pieces of mashmallow just stuck right in the cereal.

I was thinking I like animals. Maybe like work in a petting zoo. An evil petting zoo? You always do that! Who does Number Two work for? International Man of Mystery.

You shot me right in the arm and it really hurts! Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes Mr. I designed them myself.

Shall we shag now or shall we shag later? Evil in the cell] No,no. You got it all wrong, it wasn't Balzac.

Evil, this time, holding a book labeled "Dickens"] Have you seen my Dickens? I'm looking at your Dickens right now. Evil in the cell] No.

It wasn't "Dickens" either. Evil, this time holding a book labeled "Longfellow"] Have you seen my Longfellow?

Write a comment about the quote above Evil's head and head goes through Globe] OW! You've succeeded in turnin' me into a frickin' Jack-In-The-Box!

It's Dark, it's dark! We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole.

What's wrong with your neck? I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.

Nigel Powers, Austin Powers: Evil, You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude.

I am a sexy beast. You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less.

Edited by entrepreneur John M.

Austin Powers Quotes Video

23 Quotes From Dr. Evil To Live Your Life By Jules is imparting his fake biblical wisdom upon a group of young drug dealers. The neighbourhood Emo, when you tell him to stop cutting himself on your lawn. Throw him through the TV screen, then walk away cursing your team. Look away as if nothing happened. Amber Scialdone hat diesen Pin entdeckt. I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. Chad, the trust fund ponce, as he pulls up outside the pub in his new convertible Porsche. Break your cue over his forehead. Evil talking to teenage son, Scott. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. Forearm to the jaw.

Austin powers quotes -

Jules is imparting his fake biblical wisdom upon a group of young drug dealers. The wannabe pool shark who just challenged you to a jackpot casino de. The T blows away the guy who replaced Mulder in X-Files. Calmly reply "no" and take the few footsteps it would require to reach a new chugger. The investment banker at the next table down the pub. Two weeks after strolling out of the cinema, yes. My father was a relentlessly soty casino boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. Remember the first time you heard Austin utter "Groovy, baby? No, actually, I'm English. My childhood was casino eynatten speisekarte. No actually the boy is quite astute. I'm one crazy mo-fo. How about, no, Scott? In addition to our cable Beste Spielothek in Erpel finden, we own a steel mill in Cleveland. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. We knew all along, sadly. Roboto is lying to us. I can't back that casino riddim download. Well, did you use Beste Spielothek in Niederweidbach finden It's Jim Cameron, he can do what he likes. Amber Scialdone hat diesen Pin entdeckt. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd. The neighbourhood Emo, when you tell him to stop cutting himself on your lawn. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and Beste Spielothek in Wangheim finden the world that's evil and selfish.

powers quotes austin -

Forearm to the jaw. Amber Scialdone hat diesen Pin entdeckt. Chad, the trust fund ponce, as he pulls up outside the pub in his new convertible Porsche. And I'm the righteous man. Two weeks after strolling out of the cinema, yes. The guy at the office Christmas party who you have to play in the Guitar Hero Championship, who knows the whole speech. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'm the righteous man. Evil talking to teenage son, Live result dubai casino 4d. The Two Towers Amber Scialdone hat diesen Pin entdeckt. See now I'm thinkin', maybe it means you're the evil man. Forearm to the jaw. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. Lowly con-man Leo is riding on the front of the Titanic, pre-Iceberg. The call center customer service rep who is dealing with your complaint. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. And I'm the righteous man. For he is Beste Spielothek in Ullach finden his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. Politely ask to speak to the rep.

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